Ill be fine

Taken on 29th August,2012.

How easy is it to stop yourself from doing a certain unacceptable act of behavior, that you think is bad for yourself? Like looking at old photographs or read old MSN logs of people you dont want to remember in life. How easy is it to think only of the good sides of a personality and keep neglecting the negativity until it slaps you right on the face? Sometimes we just want to think of the good things and perish the moment. Why do we get so frustrated when something bad happens in our lives? Its natural, if there are ups, then there are downs. But when we spend some really happy moments in life - when we get to touch the realm of true happiness, it is very sad when it is all taken away from us. At one instant. At one go.

Diverse Paths

Photograph Clicked in Stockholm Sweden, 5:25am, 29th August,2012

“We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everywhere.” ― Tim McGraw

Alarm rang. Phone rang. 5.08am. My eye brows puckered with a sudden burst of laughter when I heard my friend sing an old Bollywood song about sunrise on the phone. I got up and changed my clothes. Brushed my hair,put maroon lipstick on my dry lips, wore a long sweater and got out with my camera with the keys jingling in my back pocket.I walked straight up, in the early cloudy morning and looked up my watch before deciding which way to turn. Left or Right. I stood at the junction, giggling with sheer delight. The smile came up naturally because I knew which road to take. Even though I could capture a better picturesque moment of the beautiful sky if I walked towards the right end which had an open field there, I chose to walk towards the left side. The left road which took me deeper into the forest with trees, with twigs lying on the ground with plenty of snails walking here and there. It was way more challenging to get a glimpse of the sunshine through the thick clouds floating on the sky above the water.

Super Duper Memories

"Good memories are painful to keep"

- Me 

          At the very moment of a specific situation, when we enjoy or perish doing something, we usually don't think of  "how-it-would-be-to-think-about-it-in-the-future". In my case, sometimes when I'm enjoying a moment, I do start getting paranoid and start thinking of how it would feel like to miss that specific happening in the future. And I get this thought at the very moment when I start feeling special in a specific happening or occurrence. And No, it doesn't ruin my present. I like thinking like this. Its not complicated at all.

I remember times when I was quiet while everyone else was enjoying. That moment of silence lasted for some seconds, yet brought many thoughts in my mind. I thought "What can I do to preserve this moment? What can I do to make it more memorable?". I start clicking pictures or taking videos.Usually people take pictures or make videos just like that, at the heat of the moment. But I get specific thoughts of how I want to remember a specific situation in the future. This behavior of mine has generated due to several reasons- mostly connected to the ways I used to write my diary.

I've been writing a diary for ten years now and when I read the same material again and again, I get to understand so many things - ways I used to think, Ways I wanted to remember a specific event or situation. Its unfair because if I just write the bad stuff, after ten years all Ill clearly remember will be the negativity of that person or occurrence.

Therefore I have adapted new ways to capturing memories. Some good memories are too painful to keep, so I thought of keeping no trail behind those events...

Its kinda good that I can be so forgetful at times.

Storm Cloud

Sometimes I feel like running away. To somewhere scary. Somewhere where it is raining with huge storm clouds. I want to face the thunder and see if the lightning strikes the ground harder than the emotions striking my mind. I want to face the furious wind and see if I can hold myself against it. I want to test my strength, cry out my sorrows in the rain. And just stand in water reaching my knees. Feel the intensity of the cold weather...and understand the depth of my own strengths and weaknesses. Yet not ask for help. If I drown, Ill drown happily. If I survive the storm, then Ill be the person I never thought I could be. A hell of a strong person! Unbreakable!